the days of my life-µÚ66ÕÂ
°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡û »ò ¡ú ¿É¿ìËÙÉÏÏ·ҳ£¬°´¼üÅÌÉ쵀 Enter ¼ü¿É»Øµ½±¾ÊéĿ¼ҳ£¬°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡ü ¿É»Øµ½±¾Ò³¶¥²¿£¡
¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ªÎ´ÔĶÁÍꣿ¼ÓÈëÊéÇ©ÒѱãÏ´μÌÐøÔĶÁ£¡
¡¡their¡¡votes¡¡could¡¡be¡¡legally¡¡recorded¡£¡¡I¡¡remember¡¡a¡¡piteous¡¡letter¡¡from¡¡a¡¡gentleman¡¡who¡¡had¡¡travelled¡¡all¡¡the¡¡way¡¡from¡¡Cornwall£»¡¡reaching¡¡Norwich¡¡somewhere¡¡about¡¡7¡¡P¡£M¡££»¡¡only¡¡to¡¡discover¡¡that¡¡he¡¡must¡¡vote¡¡at¡¡Yarmouth¡¡within¡¡an¡¡hour£»¡¡which¡¡of¡¡course¡¡he¡¡was¡¡unable¡¡to¡¡do¡£¡¡When¡¡one¡¡considers¡¡how¡¡paratively¡¡small¡¡was¡¡the¡¡number¡¡of¡¡votes¡¡necessary¡¡to¡¡turn¡¡the¡¡scale¡¡in¡¡my¡¡favour£»¡¡it¡¡is¡¡easy¡¡to¡¡understand¡¡what¡¡this¡¡blundering¡¡meant¡¡to¡¡me¡£¡¡Still£»¡¡for¡¡reasons¡¡that¡¡I¡¡have¡¡already¡¡given£»¡¡I¡¡do¡¡honestly¡¡believe¡¡that¡¡all¡¡was¡¡for¡¡the¡¡best¡£
Although¡¡I¡¡might¡¡have¡¡done¡¡so¡¡more¡¡than¡¡once£»¡¡never¡¡again¡¡have¡¡I¡¡stood¡¡for¡¡Parliament¡£¡¡To¡¡tell¡¡the¡¡truth£»¡¡the¡¡whole¡¡business¡¡disgusts¡¡me¡¡with¡¡its¡¡atmosphere¡¡of¡¡falsehood£»¡¡or¡¡at¡¡the¡¡least¡¡of¡¡prevarication£»¡¡and¡¡its¡¡humiliating¡¡quest¡¡of¡¡support¡£¡¡In¡¡such¡¡struggles¡¡in¡¡Britain¡¡there¡¡is£»¡¡it¡¡is¡¡true£»¡¡little¡¡actual¡¡corruption£»¡¡but¡¡of¡¡indirect¡¡corruption¡¡there¡¡is¡¡still¡¡a¡¡great¡¡deal¡£¡¡From¡¡the¡¡moment¡¡a¡¡candidate¡¡appears¡¡on¡¡the¡¡field¡¡he¡¡is¡¡fair¡¡game£»¡¡and¡¡every¡¡man¡¯s¡¡hand¡¡is¡¡in¡¡his¡¡pocket¡£¡¡Demands¡¡for¡¡¡°your¡¡patronage¡¡and¡¡support¡±¡¡fall¡¡on¡¡him£»¡¡thick¡¡as¡¡leaves¡¡in¡¡Vallombrosa¡£¡¡I¡¡remember¡¡that¡¡I¡¡was¡¡even¡¡pestered¡¡to¡¡supply¡¡voters¡¡with¡¡wooden¡¡legs£¡¡¡Why¡¡should¡¡an¡¡election¡¡in¡¡a¡¡county¡¡division¡¡cost£»¡¡as¡¡this¡¡one¡¡did£»¡¡something¡¡over¡¡2000¡¡pounds¡¡in¡¡all£¿
Some¡¡years¡¡before¡¡this¡¡time¡¡my¡¡brother¡¡Alfred¡¡conceived¡¡the¡¡plan¡¡of¡¡obtaining¡¡some¡¡great¡¡concession¡¡of¡¡land¡¡and¡¡minerals¡¡from¡¡Lobengula¡£¡¡He¡¡was£»¡¡I¡¡recollect£»¡¡angry¡¡with¡¡me¡¡because¡¡I¡¡would¡¡not¡¡enter¡¡into¡¡his¡¡scheme¡¡with¡¡enthusiasm£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡think¡¡has¡¡never¡¡quite¡¡forgiven¡¡me¡¡my¡¡backwardness¡£¡¡But¡¡I¡¡knew¡¡a¡¡good¡¡deal¡¡about¡¡the¡¡Matabele£»¡¡also¡¡I¡¡held¡¡that¡¡Lobengula¡¡would¡¡never¡¡grant¡¡him¡¡what¡¡he¡¡wanted¡¡unless¡¡it¡¡was¡¡wrung¡¡from¡¡him¡¡by¡¡force¡¡of¡¡arms¡£¡¡Indeed¡¡I¡¡am¡¡convinced¡¡to¡¡this¡¡day¡¡that¡¡no¡¡one¡¡except¡¡Cecil¡¡Rhodes£»¡¡with¡¡his¡¡vast¡¡mand¡¡of¡¡money£»¡¡could¡¡have¡¡dispossessed¡¡this¡¡tyrant¡¡and¡¡annexed¡¡those¡¡great¡¡territories¡£
I¡¡did¡¡not¡¡know¡¡Cecil¡¡Rhodes¡¡in¡¡Africa£»¡¡where¡¡we¡¡never¡¡crossed¡¡each¡¡other¡¯s¡¡paths£»¡¡indeed¡¡I¡¡think¡¡he¡¡arrived¡¡there¡¡only¡¡towards¡¡the¡¡end¡¡of¡¡my¡¡time¡£¡¡We¡¡first¡¡met¡¡in¡¡London£»¡¡I¡¡believe¡¡somewhere¡¡about¡¡the¡¡year¡¡1888£»¡¡when¡¡I¡¡was¡¡asked¡¡to¡¡meet¡¡him¡¡at¡¡the¡¡National¡¡Liberal¡¡Club¡£¡¡At¡¡that¡¡time¡¡he¡¡was¡¡little¡¡known£»¡¡I¡¡do¡¡not¡¡think¡¡that¡¡I¡¡had¡¡ever¡¡heard¡¡of¡¡him¡¡before¡£¡¡He¡¡impressed¡¡me¡¡a¡¡good¡¡deal£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡remember¡¡his¡¡explaining¡¡to¡¡me¡¡in¡¡great¡¡detail¡¡the¡¡provisions¡¡of¡¡a¡¡measure¡¡he¡¡was¡¡introducing¡¡into¡¡the¡¡Cape¡¡Parliament¡¡¡ª¡¡I¡¡think¡¡it¡¡was¡¡the¡¡Glen¡¡Grey¡¡Act¡¡¡ª¡¡in¡¡such¡¡detail£»¡¡indeed£»¡¡that¡¡I¡¡lost¡¡the¡¡thread¡¡of¡¡the¡¡thing¡¡and¡¡grew¡¡bewildered¡£¡¡Rhodes¡¡could¡¡rarely¡¡be¡¡persuaded¡¡to¡¡write¡¡a¡¡letter£»¡¡but¡¡my¡¡recollection¡¡is¡¡that¡¡he¡¡could¡¡talk¡¡at¡¡a¡¡great¡¡pace¡¡when¡¡he¡¡was¡¡in¡¡the¡¡mood¡£
When¡¡he¡¡was¡¡in¡¡England£»¡¡just¡¡before¡¡the¡¡Jameson¡¡Raid£»¡¡I¡¡saw¡¡Rhodes¡¡several¡¡times£»¡¡for¡¡it¡¡was¡¡then¡¡that¡¡the¡¡African¡¡people¡¡were¡¡anxious¡¡that¡¡I¡¡should¡¡stand¡¡for¡¡Parliament¡£¡¡I¡¡remember¡¡going¡¡to¡¡breakfast¡¡with¡¡him¡¡at¡¡the¡¡Burlington¡¡Hotel¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡then¡¡at¡¡the¡¡height¡¡of¡¡his¡¡success£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡scene¡¡was¡¡very¡¡curious¡£¡¡Already¡¡before¡¡breakfast¡¡a¡¡number¡¡of¡¡people£»¡¡some¡¡of¡¡them¡¡well¡¡known£»¡¡who¡¡were¡¡not¡¡asked¡¡to¡¡that¡¡meal£»¡¡were¡¡waiting¡¡about¡¡in¡¡ante¡rooms¡¡on¡¡the¡¡chance¡¡of¡¡getting¡¡a¡¡word¡¡with¡¡or¡¡favour¡¡from¡¡the¡¡great¡¡man¡£¡¡It¡¡reminded¡¡me¡¡of¡¡a¡¡picture¡¡I¡¡have¡¡seen¡¡of¡¡Dr¡£¡¡Johnson¡¡and¡¡others¡¡hanging¡¡about¡¡in¡¡the¡¡vestibule¡¡of£»¡¡I¡¡think£»¡¡Lord¡¡Chesterfield¡¯s¡¡apartment¡¡for¡¡a¡¡like¡¡object¡£¡¡There¡¡was¡¡the¡¡same¡¡air¡¡of¡¡patient¡¡expectancy¡¡upon¡¡their¡¡faces¡£¡¡In¡¡a¡¡china¡¡bowl¡¡on¡¡a¡¡table¡¡I¡¡observed¡¡a¡¡great¡¡accumulation¡¡of¡¡unopened¡¡letters£»¡¡most¡¡of¡¡which¡¡had¡¡a¡¡kind¡¡of¡¡society¡¡look¡¡about¡¡them£»¡¡probably¡¡they¡¡were¡¡invitations¡¡and¡¡so¡¡forth¡£¡¡It¡¡was£»¡¡I¡¡have¡¡understood£»¡¡one¡¡of¡¡the¡¡habits¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Rhodes¡¡entourage¡¡not¡¡to¡¡trouble¡¡to¡¡open¡¡letters¡¡that¡¡came¡¡by¡¡post¡£¡¡Unless¡¡these¡¡were¡¡of¡¡known¡¡importance¡¡they¡¡only¡¡attended¡¡to¡¡those¡¡that¡¡were¡¡sent¡¡by¡¡hand£»¡¡or¡¡to¡¡telegrams£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡replies¡¡were¡¡generally¡¡verbal¡¡or¡¡telegraphic¡£¡¡Perhaps¡¡this¡¡was¡¡owing¡¡to¡¡press¡¡of¡¡business£»¡¡or¡¡perhaps¡¡to¡¡a¡¡pose£»¡¡or¡¡to¡¡a¡¡bination¡¡of¡¡both¡£
The¡¡last¡¡time¡¡that¡¡I¡¡ever¡¡saw¡¡Rhodes¡¡must¡¡have¡¡been¡¡about¡¡a¡¡year¡¡later£»¡¡probably¡¡when¡¡he¡¡was¡¡in¡¡England¡¡after¡¡the¡¡Jameson¡¡Raid¡¡affair¡£¡¡I¡¡went¡¡to¡¡call¡¡on¡¡him¡¡on¡¡some¡¡matter¡¡¡ª¡¡I¡¡entirely¡¡forget¡¡what¡¡it¡¡was¡¡¡ª¡¡at¡¡the¡¡Burlington¡¡Hotel£»¡¡and¡¡found¡¡him¡¡alone¡£¡¡We¡¡talked¡¡for¡¡a¡¡long¡¡while£»¡¡though¡¡again¡¡I¡¡forget¡¡the¡¡subject¡¡of¡¡our¡¡conversation¡£¡¡What¡¡I¡¡remember¡¡is¡¡the¡¡appearance¡¡of¡¡the¡¡man¡¡as¡¡he¡¡paced¡¡restlessly¡¡up¡¡and¡¡down¡¡the¡¡long¡¡room¡¡like¡¡a¡¡lion¡¡in¡¡a¡¡cage£»¡¡throwing¡¡out¡¡his¡¡words¡¡in¡¡jerky£»¡¡isolated¡¡sentences£»¡¡and¡¡in¡¡a¡¡curious¡¡high¡¡voice¡¡that¡¡sometimes¡¡almost¡¡attained¡¡to¡¡a¡¡falsetto¡£¡¡He¡¡gave¡¡me¡¡the¡¡idea¡¡of¡¡being¡¡in¡¡a¡¡very¡¡nervous¡¡state£»¡¡as¡¡I¡¡dare¡¡say¡¡was¡¡the¡¡case¡£
His¡¡was¡¡one¡¡of¡¡those¡¡big£»¡¡mixed¡¡natures¡¡of¡¡which¡¡it¡¡is¡¡extremely¡¡difficult¡¡to¡¡form¡¡a¡¡just¡¡opinion¡£¡¡My¡¡own£»¡¡for¡¡what¡¡it¡¡is¡¡worth£»¡¡is¡¡that¡¡he¡¡loved¡¡his¡¡country¡¡and¡¡desired¡¡above¡¡all¡¡things¡¡to¡¡advance¡¡her¡¡interests£»¡¡also¡¡that¡¡he¡¡was¡¡personally¡¡very¡¡ambitious¡£¡¡He¡¡set¡¡great¡¡ends¡¡before¡¡himself¡¡and¡¡went¡¡to¡¡work¡¡to¡¡attain¡¡them¡¡at¡¡any¡¡cost¡£¡¡To¡¡begin¡¡with£»¡¡he¡¡saw¡¡that¡¡money¡¡was¡¡necessary£»¡¡so¡¡he¡¡rubbed¡¡shoulders¡¡with¡¡speculators£»¡¡with¡¡Jews£»¡¡with¡¡anybody¡¡who¡¡was¡¡useful£»¡¡and¡¡by¡¡means¡¡of¡¡this¡¡deal¡¡or¡¡that¡¡deal¡¡made¡¡the¡¡money£»¡¡not¡¡for¡¡its¡¡own¡¡sake£»¡¡but¡¡that¡¡he¡¡might¡¡use¡¡it¡¡to¡¡fulfil¡¡the¡¡purposes¡¡of¡¡his¡¡busy¡¡and¡¡far¡reaching¡¡brain¡£¡¡He¡¡outwitted¡¡Kruger£»¡¡he¡¡destroyed¡¡the¡¡Matabele£»¡¡he¡¡seized¡¡the¡¡vast¡¡territories¡¡of¡¡Rhodesia£»¡¡and¡¡persuaded¡¡the¡¡British¡¡public¡¡to¡¡find¡¡him¡¡the¡¡gold¡¡wherewith¡¡to¡¡finance¡¡them£»¡¡most¡¡of¡¡which¡¡the¡¡British¡¡public¡¡has£»¡¡I¡¡imagine£»¡¡lost¡£¡¡But¡¡the¡¡Empire¡¡has¡¡gained£»¡¡for¡¡Rhodesia¡¡does¡¡not¡¡run¡¡away£»¡¡like¡¡the¡¡capital£»¡¡in¡¡over¡financed¡¡and¡¡unremunerative¡¡panies¡£¡¡One¡¡day¡¡it¡¡may¡¡be¡¡a¡¡great¡¡asset¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Crown£»¡¡if¡¡the¡¡Imperial¡¡possessions¡¡hold¡¡together¡£
It¡¡would¡¡almost¡¡seem¡¡as¡¡though¡¡Rhodes¡¡was¡¡one¡¡of¡¡those¡¡men¡¡who¡¡have¡¡been¡¡and¡¡still¡¡are¡¡raised¡¡up¡¡by¡¡that¡¡Power£»¡¡of¡¡the¡¡existence¡¡of¡¡which¡¡he¡¡seems¡¡to¡¡have¡¡been¡¡dubious£»¡¡to¡¡fulfil¡¡certain¡¡designs¡¡of¡¡Its¡¡own¡£¡¡There¡¡have¡¡been¡¡a¡¡good¡¡many¡¡with¡¡somewhat¡¡similar¡¡characteristics¡£¡¡Alexander£»¡¡Caesar£»¡¡Napoleon£»¡¡Chaka£»¡¡e¡¡to¡¡my¡¡mind¡¡as¡¡I¡¡write¡£¡¡Roosevelt£»¡¡though¡¡his¡¡is¡¡a¡¡finer¡¡mind£»¡¡may¡¡or¡¡may¡¡not¡¡prove¡¡another£º¡¡at¡¡the¡¡moment¡¡it¡¡rather¡¡looks¡¡as¡¡though¡¡his¡¡cards¡¡were¡¡played£»¡¡but¡¡who¡¡knows£¿
Had¡¡it¡¡not¡¡been¡¡for¡¡Rhodes¡¡I¡¡incline¡¡to¡¡the¡¡belief¡¡that¡¡the¡¡Germans¡¡would¡¡have¡¡taken¡¡Rhodesia£»¡¡perhaps¡¡after¡¡a¡¡preliminary¡¡occupation¡¡by¡¡the¡¡Boers¡£¡¡That¡¡danger£»¡¡I¡¡think£»¡¡was¡¡present¡¡to¡¡his¡¡thoughts¡¡and¡¡was¡¡one¡¡of¡¡the¡¡reasons¡¡which¡¡induced¡¡him¡¡to¡¡strike£»¡¡and¡¡strike¡¡hard£»¡¡caring¡¡nothing¡¡for¡¡the¡¡blood¡¡that¡¡splashed¡¡up¡¡from¡¡the¡¡blow¡£¡¡In¡¡the¡¡same¡¡way¡¡he¡¡wished¡¡to¡¡seize¡¡the¡¡Transvaal¡¡by¡¡a¡¡coup¡¡de¡¡main£»¡¡or¡¡rather¡¡a¡¡coup¡¡d¡¯epee£»¡¡but¡¡here¡¡he¡¡miscalculated¡¡the¡¡strength¡¡of¡¡the¡¡opposing¡¡forces¡£¡¡Or¡¡perhaps£»¡¡as¡¡he¡¡himself¡¡said£»¡¡Jameson¡¡¡ª¡¡whom¡¡I¡¡also¡¡knew¡¡and¡¡who¡¡possesses£»¡¡I¡¡think£»¡¡in¡¡some¡¡ways¡¡a¡¡higher¡¡nature¡¡than¡¡did¡¡Rhodes¡¡¡ª¡¡upset¡¡his¡¡¡°apple¡cart¡£¡±¡¡At¡¡least£»¡¡whatever¡¡his¡¡faults£»¡¡he¡¡was¡¡a¡¡great¡¡figure¡¡in¡¡his¡¡generation£»¡¡and¡¡his¡¡name¡¡must¡¡always¡¡be¡¡remembered¡¡if¡¡only¡¡by¡¡that¡¡of¡¡the¡¡vast¡¡territory¡¡he¡¡seized£»¡¡which¡¡he¡¡still¡¡surveys¡¡from¡¡his¡¡tomb¡eyrie¡¡on¡¡the¡¡Matoppos¡£
Rhodes¡¡had¡¡his¡¡weaknesses£»¡¡like¡¡other¡¡men¡£¡¡A¡¡few¡¡years¡¡ago¡¡I¡¡was¡¡staying¡¡with¡¡Lord¡¡Carrington£»¡¡now¡¡the¡¡Marquis¡¡of¡¡Lincolnshire¡£¡¡He¡¡told¡¡me¡¡a¡¡little¡¡story¡¡with¡¡reference¡¡to¡¡Rhodes¡¯¡¡declaration£»¡¡which¡¡Lord¡¡Carrington¡¡said¡¡he¡¡had¡¡often¡¡made£»¡¡to¡¡the¡¡effect¡¡that¡¡he¡¡would¡¡accept¡¡no¡¡title¡¡or¡¡favour¡¡from¡¡Royalty¡£¡¡They¡¡were¡¡both¡¡of¡¡them¡¡manded¡¡to¡¡Windsor¡¡at¡¡the¡¡same¡¡time£»¡¡and¡¡Lord¡¡Carrington¡¡gave¡¡me¡¡a¡¡lively¡¡description¡¡of¡¡the¡¡intense¡¡amusement¡¡of¡¡the¡¡pany¡¡e¡¡down¡¡to¡¡dinner¡¡and¡¡in¡¡a¡¡very¡¡marked¡¡manner¡¡asked¡¡one¡¡of¡¡the¡¡gentlemen¡inwaiting¡¡whether¡¡he¡¡had¡¡been¡¡careful¡¡to¡¡see¡¡that¡¡the¡¡¡°Right¡¡Honourable¡¡gentleman£»¡±¡¡pointing¡¡to¡¡Cecil¡¡Rhodes£»¡¡had¡¡been¡¡made¡¡fortable¡¡in¡¡every¡¡way£»¡¡thereby¡¡indicating¡¡the¡¡conferring¡¡of¡¡a¡¡Privy¡¡Councillorship¡¡upon¡¡him£»¡¡which¡¡he¡¡had¡¡not¡¡refused¡£
My¡¡City¡¡labours¡¡endured¡¡but¡¡for¡¡nine¡¡months£»¡¡after¡¡which¡¡time¡¡I¡¡was¡¡delivered¡£¡¡During¡¡those¡¡tumultuous¡¡days¡¡I¡¡toiled¡¡in¡¡a¡¡fine¡¡office¡¡in¡¡London£»¡¡where¡¡thousands¡¡were¡¡talked¡¡of¡¡as¡¡of¡¡no¡¡account¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡the¡¡period¡¡of¡¡the¡¡great¡¡African¡¡boom£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡business¡¡machine¡¡hummed¡¡merrily¡£¡¡We¡¡made¡¡money£»¡¡I¡¡remember£»¡¡also¡¡we¡¡lost¡¡money¡£¡¡But¡¡it¡¡was¡¡all¡¡much¡¡too¡¡speculative¡¡and¡¡nerve¡racking¡¡for¡¡me£»¡¡while¡¡the¡¡burden¡¡of¡¡those¡¡panies¡¡weighed¡¡upon¡¡my¡¡mind¡¡heavily¡£¡¡The¡¡true¡bred¡¡City¡¡man¡¡cares¡¡little¡¡for¡¡such¡¡things£»¡¡which¡¡to¡¡him¡¡are¡¡all¡¡part¡¡of¡¡the¡¡day¡¯s¡¡work£»¡¡as¡¡writing¡¡a¡¡chapter¡¡of¡¡a¡¡book¡¡might¡¡be¡¡to¡¡me¡£¡¡He¡¡is¡¡accustomed¡¡to¡¡take¡¡risks£»¡¡and¡¡an¡¡adept¡¡at¡¡getting¡¡out¡¡of¡¡difficult¡¡situations¡£
At¡¡last¡¡came¡¡a¡¡time¡¡in¡¡my¡¡own¡¡instance¡¡when¡¡my¡¡partner£»¡¡an¡¡excellent¡¡and¡¡very¡¡able¡¡gentleman¡¡in¡¡his¡¡own¡¡way¡¡and¡¡one¡¡for¡¡whom¡¡I¡¡retain¡¡the¡¡most¡¡friendly¡¡feelings£»¡¡announced¡¡that¡¡he¡¡meant¡¡to¡¡depart¡¡for¡¡South¡¡Africa¡¡for¡¡a¡¡year¡¡or¡¡so£»¡¡leaving¡¡me¡¡to¡¡conduct¡¡all¡¡the¡¡extremely¡¡intricate¡¡affairs¡¡with¡¡which¡¡he¡¡was¡¡connected¡£¡¡This¡¡was¡¡too¡¡much¡¡for¡¡me£»¡¡and¡¡then¡¡and¡¡there¡¡I¡¡had¡¡the¡¡presence¡¡of¡¡mind¡¡to¡¡strike¡£
All¡¡men¡¡make¡¡mistakes£»¡¡but¡¡afterwards£»¡¡so¡¡far¡¡as¡¡my¡¡observation¡¡goes£»¡¡they¡¡may¡¡be¡¡divided¡¡into¡¡two¡¡classes£º¡¡those¡¡who¡¡know¡¡when¡¡to¡¡get¡¡out¡¡of¡¡them£»¡¡and¡¡those¡¡who¡¡do¡¡not¡£
Well£»¡¡in¡¡this¡¡case¡¡I¡¡had¡¡sufficient¡¡sense¡¡and¡¡courage¡¡to¡¡appreciate¡¡my¡¡mistake¡¡and¡¡to¡¡retire¡¡while¡¡there¡¡was¡¡yet¡¡time¡£¡¡Of¡¡course¡¡there¡¡was¡¡some¡¡difficulty£»¡¡as¡¡under¡¡the¡¡deed¡¡of¡¡partnership¡¡I¡¡was¡¡bound¡¡for¡¡a¡¡period¡£¡¡But£»¡¡when¡¡he¡¡saw¡¡that¡¡I¡¡was¡¡determined¡¡to¡¡go£»¡¡my¡¡partner¡¡behaved¡¡very¡¡well¡¡and¡¡kindly¡¡signed¡¡a¡¡dissolution¡£
I¡¡should¡¡add¡¡that¡¡the¡¡period¡¡which¡¡this¡¡chapter¡¡covers¡¡was¡¡marked¡¡by¡¡several¡¡events¡¡that¡¡were¡¡more¡¡or¡¡less¡¡important¡¡to¡¡me¡£¡¡In¡¡1893¡¡my¡¡dear¡¡father¡¡died¡¡as¡¡the¡¡result¡¡of¡¡a¡¡chill¡¡which¡¡he¡¡caught¡¡in¡¡waiting¡¡about¡¡for¡¡the¡¡poll¡¡to¡¡be¡¡declared¡¡at¡¡an¡¡election¡¡in¡¡cold¡¡weather¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡sad¡¡to¡¡see¡¡a¡¡man¡¡of¡¡his¡¡great¡¡strength¡¡and¡¡energy¡¡fading¡¡away¡¡and¡¡being¡¡so¡¡subdued¡¡and¡¡gentle£»¡¡qualities¡¡which¡¡were¡¡not¡¡natural¡¡to¡¡him¡£¡¡After¡¡one¡¡extraordinary¡¡recovery¡¡from¡¡the¡¡jaundice£»¡¡or¡¡whatever¡¡it¡¡was¡¡that¡¡had¡¡attacked¡¡him£»¡¡believing¡¡himself¡¡to¡¡be¡¡strong¡¡again£»¡¡he¡¡began¡¡to¡¡travel¡¡and¡¡pay¡¡visits¡¡in¡¡winter£»¡¡and¡¡thus¡¡brought¡¡on¡¡a¡¡return¡¡of¡¡his¡¡ailment¡£¡¡I¡¡was¡¡not¡¡actually¡¡present¡¡at¡¡his¡¡death¡bed£»¡¡as¡¡I¡¡could¡¡only¡¡reach¡¡Bradenham¡¡on¡¡the¡¡following¡¡day¡£¡¡He¡¡left¡¡me¡¡one¡¡of¡¡his¡¡executors¡¡and£»¡¡as¡¡he¡¡was¡¡dying£»¡¡told¡¡our¡¡old¡¡servant¡¡Hocking¡¡to¡¡give¡¡me¡¡his¡¡watch¡¡and¡¡chain£»¡¡which¡¡I¡¡think¡¡had¡¡been¡¡his¡¡father¡¯s¡¡before¡¡him¡£¡¡I¡¡have¡¡it¡¡now£»¡¡still¡¡marking¡¡the¡¡hour¡¡at¡¡which¡¡it¡¡ran¡¡down¡¡under¡¡his¡¡pillow¡¡on¡¡that¡¡night¡£¡¡His¡¡last¡¡words£»¡¡spoken¡¡almost¡¡as¡¡he¡¡expired£»¡¡were£º
¡°God¡¡is¡¡everywhere£¡¡¡He¡¡is¡¡in¡¡this¡¡room£»¡¡is¡¡He¡¡not£¿¡±
He¡¡looked¡¡fine¡¡and¡¡peaceful¡¡in¡¡death£»¡¡as¡¡I¡¡think¡¡I¡¡have¡¡said£»¡¡he¡¡was¡¡very¡¡handsome£»¡¡and¡¡in¡¡many¡¡ways¡¡a¡¡remarkable¡¡man¡£¡¡I¡¡never¡¡knew¡¡anyone¡¡who¡¡resembled¡¡him¡¡in¡¡the¡¡least¡¡or¡¡who¡¡was¡¡the¡¡possessor¡¡of¡¡half¡¡his¡¡energy¡£¡¡God¡¡rest¡¡him£¡
Sir¡¡Theophilus¡¡Shepstone¡¡died¡¡in¡¡the¡¡same¡¡year£»¡¡and£»¡¡I¡¡think£»¡¡at¡¡almost¡¡exactly¡¡the¡¡same¡¡age¡£¡¡I¡¡mourned¡¡my¡¡old¡¡chief¡¡very¡¡sincerely¡£
In¡¡1893¡¡or¡¡the¡¡previous¡¡year¡¡I¡¡was¡¡elected¡¡Chairman¡¡of¡¡my¡¡local¡¡bench¡¡of¡¡magistrates£»¡¡an¡¡office¡¡which¡¡I¡¡have¡¡filled¡¡ever¡¡since¡£¡¡Indeed£»¡¡when¡¡I¡¡wished¡¡to¡¡resign¡¡it¡¡the¡¡other¡¡day£»¡¡on¡¡my¡¡appointment¡¡to¡¡the¡¡Dominions¡¡Royal¡¡mission£»¡¡that£»¡¡all¡¡being¡¡well£»¡¡will¡¡necessitate¡¡long¡¡absences¡¡from¡¡England¡¡during¡¡which¡¡I¡¡shall¡¡be¡¡unable¡¡to¡¡attend¡¡to¡¡the¡¡business¡¡of¡¡the¡¡bench£»¡¡my¡¡colleagues¡¡unanimously¡¡requested¡¡me¡¡to¡¡retain¡¡the¡¡position¡¡and¡¡appointed¡¡my¡¡old¡¡friend¡¡and¡¡neighbour£»¡¡Captain¡¡Meade¡¡of¡¡Earsham¡¡Hall£»¡¡to¡¡act¡¡for¡¡me¡¡when¡¡I¡¡was¡¡a